tfw you’re in the car and get iced coffee but have no place to put it so you put it between your thighs to keep it safe from the wrath of physics then you get hypothermia on your legs and ya pussy go numb
i think kids nowadays will be singing:
1 2 buckle my shoe
3 4 shut the door
5 6 suck a dick
7 8 then get laid
9 10 by a big fat hen
Mercutio: Romeo, mah Bromeo, I love you man, but no homeo.
person with microphone: GOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!!!
person with microphone: I DIDNT HEAR YOU!! I SAID GOOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!!!
Why does no one tell me if we have people over, I just walked downstairs wearing a ‘say hey if youre gay’ T-shirt and batman boxers. We had 8 people over.
They sawdid any of them say hey
boyfriend: hey baby i have to cancel our date tomorrow something came up
girlfriend: oh i’m just small potatoes. i’m not that importance.
I wonder what kind of loot I’ll drop when I die